something few will ever really understand.

the sweetest and most difficult part of my life is the same thing. 

being connected to another human being,

stronger than the bond of a sibling.

a twin.

this relationship makes complete sense to me, 

but is hard to explain to others.

this beauty is unique,

one of a kind.

my heart goes out to a fellow set of twins.
i send light and love.
it makes me ill to think of what they are both going through.

i dedicate my good deeds and thoughts this week
to my twin because she is the biggest reason why
i do what i do.

my heart, my soul, my love

i love my hair!

my hair is going to embody this...

from now on! 

grateful for all the beauty in my life.

just so you guys know, 

i lie awake at night thinking of all the 

stuff i want to write here and 

i forget in the morning...

but no worries the wheels are turning ;) 

the things i spend my time doing.

i pride myself in being on task but this 

is an allusion.  i am the queen of procrastination. 

without due dates and time lines i'd be lost and lazy. 

no need to worry it will all get done and right one time

 and neat and tidy. nothing missing nothing lost.

and no it is not because i enjoy the drama of 

being rushed.  i have my way of doing things and i like it that way.  

my issue is not being influence by the goody-two-shoes who live in the 

library and start papers weeks in advance.  i will not feel quilty.  

so leave me be! to sit on pinterest and etsy all the days long. 

happily.

contemplation

After viewing the photos my lovely aunt has posted of her 

visit here, I have come to realize I am not as pleasant as I seem apparently. 

Not one of the pictures she took of me am I smiling in.

I swear I am a great time and wonderful human being.

But I am now 21 and although I have thought up until this point 

I know alot for my age...

I am wrong.  I know nothing.  I am but a baby in this journey.

Everyday I learn something about this life I am in and the person 

I am and want to become.   This realization is hard for me but I 

am getting used to it.  Thanks to this two below...

Everytime I go home, I am come back wiser and more grateful for 

everything that they have taught me and given me.

I look around and wander through this life and 

look around to see not everyone is a fortunate as me to 

have been given the tools necessary to be 

ready for the struggles life throws. 

But I feel I do. 

Thank God. 

Life is big and mean and scary.  And Aunt Steph I think thats why I have that look on my 

face all the time.  Because those are willing to look pass the giant

6 foot monster and get to know me are the people I believe truly care.  I am not out

to be the most popular but to have the a close knit friend and family

base of people who truly care.  And its taken me awhile but I think I 

am finding out who those people are and I am so blessed to 

have such amazing people surrounding me.   Even if half the time I am independently going about

I know those people are there and thats what counts.  

blaaahhhhh enough soft crap! lets see some pictures of winter break in the 

international house of cupcakes! 

Mom taking a shot! 

Isn't Brit the prettiest?!

My baby Elizabeht Grace. 

Always wanting to be the life of the party! Geezzzzz

Who is that little man?

Two good looking broads...

I try too hard sometimes...

home is where my soul lives

this place

these people

make my world spin round

are the reason i wake up each day

the reason i have a smile on my face

the reason i do what i do 

ahhhh hommeeeee

someone tweeted this yesterday...

Having a rough day? Place your hand over your heart. Feel that? That's called purpose. You're alive for a reason.

we have to remember this when we are having 

 a rough day.

I know I needed to hear this yesterday. 

looking forward to some lazy days in my near future.

this whole school and volleyball thing is wearing me thin.

which gets me really pumped about my four week winter break and 

my lovely thanksgiving weekend! 

the count downs have offically begun! 

today is a lazy sunday but not really....

have alot of homework and other activities to attend to, 

therefore not LAZY! 

ughhhh

but i am enjoying downloading some new tunes for our roadtrip this 

next week.  music is my outlet to serenity.

ahhh love my tunes!!

can't wait to jammmm on my ipod in the airport! 

these awesome people are in sight!! cannot wait to see my baby boy and 

love of my life! 

and then of course my second team!

so ready to cheer my heart out for these girls! 

16 days till turkey day

40 days till home to SANTA BARBARA 

life is pretty nice these days...livin the dream

 i am so grateful!

you

this is the little girl i do everything for, i am making her dreams come true.

you are braver

than you believe

stronger

than you've seen

smarter 

than you think

and loved

more than you know

it's days like this...

that make me remember why i am so blessed.

my family is the most gracious of hosts, 

givers of love, 

acceptors of the lost and lonely,

lovers of laughter,

silent admirers of the happiest home.

why do i get to call this family mine?

i don't know why and don't want to question it because

it's mine. who could be so lucky?

me. 

dear God, 

thanks for the best life.  i couldn't be happier.  

it's awesome. the end. 

thanks mere

and i get to call this place HOME.

wow

thats all i can say

beautiful fall day

be yourself. don't die a copy. 

love the person who saw you when you were invisible.

it is okay to cry. 

live the life you have imagined. 

be honest with yourself

value who you are right now. 

don't focus on negative thoughts

don't delay your fears.

believe in something higher than yourself

hug yourself a bunch

don't compare yourself to others.