A Great Ending and An Amazing Beginning

After a long and stressful year coming home was the only way for me to refresh and getting ready for the New Year.  I am so lucky to be so close to my family.  A plus is how supportive and loving they are. 

I mean look at me...I am alot to handle. 

But my parents are aging nicely. This time of year I am always reminded how lucky I am to have such amazing parents.  They are so loving and their guidance that continues to show me the way.  They allow me learn on my but are always there for a pep talk.  Spending the Holiday Season with them was great I miss them so much when I am away at school.

Some other people I have been missing dearly.

My sistas.  These girls are the reason I do everything I do.

My "awesome cousin" Ari has always been more than a cousin to me and will always be a sister. I love you girls so much and I am so grateful to have the special time we have together.  All the laughs, the fights, the sleepovers, the dance parties.  

With Christmas came my Birthday bringing a new decade.  As I go into my twenties I want to thank my Grandmother for all of her inspiration.  I love her to pieces and I am so blessed to have her be such a huge part of my life. 

And my two amazingly talented Aunts who are role models in my life. Love them so much. And all of their punks. 

This is my Tribe.

 Oh how I love loud love. 

home is where the heart is

get me home right now!

what's not to love...

I am a freshman at heart what can I say.  I love these girls! 

thanksgiving....alot of things to be thankful for!

Even though I am not at home I have had an amazing Thanksgiving!  I love my home away from home, Heather and Terry are so good to me.  I am so grateful to have been able to be here with them for the holiday.  And Kaleb is the sweetest and I am so grateful to have this time with him.  He is so smart and each time I see him he is bigger and has learned something new.  I love him!  And Brit was lucky enough to have some time with him and it was precious!  She cried the moment she saw him, it was exactly like my first time meeting him except lucky for her he is walking now!  Here are some pictures of their meeting at the local Red Lion Hotel.  He was a little confused at first why there was to Meres but later in the day at Brit's game he totally knew who she was. He was so pumped at the match and was cheering.  He is so cute!

I have many things to be thankful for; my health, my education, my incredible family, my friends.  I am so lucky!  I cannot wait for Christmas time to be back home and surrounded by family again.  Only three more weeks, hopefully it will go by fast.

Hope everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving!  Love to all!

life is tiring...

hey sorry I have been lame.  i have been busy getting my emotional state back to normal.  and good news! it is pretty darn close.  but as this begins to become normal my physical state is lacking.  after a long volleyball season, that has been more of an emotional roller coaster then a anything else, comes to end all i can think about is my bed and how i long to sleep for a few weeks or maybe a month.  but more than anything i long to be with my family.  it has been way to long!  at this time last year i had already spent time with my father and grandmother but this year has been quite lonely in the family department.  except the volleyball matches!! christmas count down will begin shortly as soon as i return for Portland to see my closest family within driving distance.

one other random factoid that has been bothering me.  i have been the envy of many growing up a redhead.  always being told how amazing the color is and how so many people spend hundreds of dollars on attempting to recreate this color.  okay so i get that i have great hair, who doesn't? ha but if you take that unique characteristic and add 6 feet of height and times that by two you have a feared combo.  i mean in the boy department.  don't get me wrong i love my looks and i know i am beautiful (not in a conceded way but in a i love myself first before other love me kind of way).  but could some one tell the college boys of GONZAGA that it is beautiful because i hate all blondes and brunettes at this point.  well anyway i do not need anyone at this point i just want some to think i am pretty.  and no family i do not need to hear it from you more often! so if that is all you are going to comment, then don't. haha

love to all!

taylor swift

tay swift has yet again come out with a fantastic album. it is true and from the heart! love it!

for those of you who are interested i am more than happy to email it to you!

future car no biggy..

nothing here to report! halloween this weekend and i am a lumber jack, will post photos later! have a great week :)

MY NEW SPECS

For those of you who don't have the pleasure of seeing me in person I took the liberty of snapping a little photo of myself in my new protective eye wear.  I have to wear them the rest of the season and probably my volleyball career lucky me! Anyway I rock them.

annoy, stress, and HAPPY!

After the first day of the week I already hate the week.  During practice Monday I got hit directly in the eye and was sent to the eye doctor to get checked out.  Because I am so darn cool this is the second time that this has occurred.  You would think that in this awesome sport getting hit with the ball in the eye would happen alot, but nope its pretty rare.  And me of all people has had the pleasure of doing it twice.  Anyway because of the velocity the ball was traveling at when it hit me in my left eye, same eye both twice by the way, the gut and juices of my eye ball got all shaken up.  To put it in little kids terms.  But I sat out practice and hopefully will get cleared tomorrow but as I sit here praying to the eye gods on this lovely Tuesday night.  I have the image of me playing against USF on Thursday and I am wearing the most badass athletic protective eye wear you have ever seen.  Not that doesn't sound like the coolest thing ever but...

As a girl who has struggled with confidence and feeling comfortable in her own body, and being able to say, "I am beautiful" and believe it.  This did not happen over night.  It took me up until last year to truly appreciate all of my attributes.  As a tall, curly redheaded, twin, with quite dominate calves I didn't quite blend in with all the petite, straight, blonde or brunette...anyway you get the picture growing up sucks!  The point I want to make is that volleyball is my happy/safe place, where I feel comfortable.  Not only in my mental state but physical.  I feel most at home in body, as silly as this sounds, in my spandex and loose fitted shirt, with my knee pads and sweaty slicked back hair.  I feel strong, beautiful, tall and lean, unstoppable, confident, you name it I can be it when I am dressed in my volleyball attire.  And it has been this way since I was twelve and now Leanne is telling me to take this GODDESS appearance and put goggles on it!?!?! Oh hell no!

Dilated eye:

But what can a girl do.....serious eye issues or badass dominance on the volleyball court? We shall see...will be keeping you updated!

But on to the exciting news....my dear friends KELSEY BASHAW has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids!  I am so touched that she has asked and honored! Wow and she did it in the most adorable way ever! She was so sneaky and went into my room and conspired with Kate my roommate and took my life-sized cardboard cut out of Jacob from Twilight  and put a bridesmaids dress on it with a picture of her and I on his face.  And a little sign that said, "WILL YOU BE MY BRIDESMAID?!" I screamed bloody murdered and then cried when I walked into the room and Jacob standing there.  It was the sweetest thing and I will never forget it!  Thanks for asking me Kels it means the world to me :) Love you!

all i needed

Seeing my mom and younger sister was the exact thing I needed to get me over the hump that has had me trapped in my very own personal ditch. And let me tell you my ditch was deep, dark and damp no place that a young lady wants to be spending her time at the most exciting and adventurous time of her life.  I have built myself a latter now and have begun the slow process of getting out.
My mother is the funniest person I know, I would like to think I get the majority of my humor from her and my "social butterfly-ness" from my father.  Oh yes I am the girl striking up conversations with the cashier at the local Safeway! Thanks Dad! Back to my gorgeous mother, she is strong and passionate about life and I only hope to at least half the human being she is.  Love you mom.  Or Meammm.  And my sweet teenager of a sister, who is so in high school.  The maturity level is absolutely ridiculous that I had a hard time keeping a conversation with her, but what laughs she brings.  Miss her so much, she is growing into such an amazing young lady and I not around to witness it everyday.
Having struggled so badly with homesickness last year I was under the impression that it was out of my system, little did I know that it will probably never fully go away just become less often and less painful.  My family is my rock, they are my tribe.  I am so grateful to know that at such an early age.  Not many people ever understand that but I have and know that I need to see them more often then every three to four months.  That is too long!  So if you are my family, and have some extra cash lying around please do purchase yourself a ticket to Spokane or any of the fabulous towns that my team plays in and come see me because God knows you need a little vacation but more selfishly I need my people.

Here are some pictures of the year so far.  Of me being me for once in my life in front of people who are "my people", mushroom hair cut and all! Waiting for my hair to grow out!

This is Mere the Bear signing out and saying it really hard growing up! That wasn't in the instruction manual.  Love to all.